You probably know the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson; a greedy, vain Emperor is tricked into thinking he is wearing an expensive magical suit which can only be seen by people who are very clever and astute. Of course, no-one wants to admit they can’t see it, so they complement the Emperor who believes every word. Then while he is parading in his carriage in front of his subjects, a young boy shouts out “the Emperor has no clothes on!” and the Emperor realises he has been tricked. It just takes that one rebellious voice to change the dynamic.
I’ve always liked this story, since I was a child. I guess it appeals to the psychologist in me and illustrates how often we go along with the crowd or agree with things, so we don’t stand out or get things wrong. I also think sometimes if we like or respect someone, we might be less inclined to disagree or might give them the benefit of the doubt. But what happens if someone we like or respect, someone whose opinion we value, or work we admire…. says something stupid?
I had a conversation with someone the other day about this very thing. We had read the same book, well…started the same book but my friend was further on than me, a book which I had recommended. It was a very me moment, I’d read the first few chapters, liked the author, got over-excited and told people about it. Then I got really busy and put it aside.
Then my more motivated friend (who had continued reading) related a comment made by the author in a later chapter. I won’t get into it; it doesn’t matter really what it was. Except it was a bit of a wild claim. And my friend, who quite reasonably wants wild claims evidenced, stopped reading the book. My friend is a lovely person who always empathises with others. She thought I’d be offended that she had stopped reading a book I had recommended.
I so wasn’t. I was actually grateful for the heads-up!
It also started an interesting conversation about what happens when a person who usually seems quite sensible, in this case an expert in their field, says something a bit silly.
Do we throw out everything they’ve ever said or is there a way of navigating through so we can keep what we value from their input? When I think about the people whose work I admire, there are others who, similarly, have made comments or claims I might disagree with (for clarity, I am talking about more minor opinions rather than major ideological differences!). My friend and I agreed these things are sometimes contextual, and we can get over them, whilst at other times we might just get the ick! We agreed either is fine!
For me, I guess, it raised questions about ethics, values and awareness. Of my own self-awareness and being mindful of my recommendations. As well as understanding that it is good to challenge things. Nobody knows everything, however expert they might be, and we all have individual perspectives on the world that not everyone will agree with and, from my point of view anyway, that’s okay. There may be times when someone I follow or read or listen to says something that will make me reassess whether I can continue to do so. They will be other times when they might just say something a bit mindlessly but if I feel my values are aligned with theirs (as much as anyone can tell that), I might let it play out a while longer and see if it was an aberration rather than a pattern. Regardless I think the most important point for me is that my friend challenged it and reminded me that I also need to keep trying to challenge things that don’t make sense to me.
Feeling able to challenge or be curious about comments, articles, research, books, anything really, enables us to really explore our own and others’ beliefs and consider what we want to take on board rather than accept things unquestionably. And that’s got to be a good thing.
