Disentangling overthinking…

I would say probably the most common thing that comes up in my practice is overthinking. Many individuals I work with share a belief that they needed to focus on really thinking about an issue in order to resolve it.  Others might just be aware of a low-level hum of worrying and ruminating in their everyday life.  Some might reserve worry for what they deem a big event. 

Another common thread is how this overthinking impacts us.  I remember myself how worrying and ruminating made me feel; anxious, overwhelmed, nauseous, fearful, depressed, unconfident.  Far from gaining the answers I needed, I just ended up with more questions and more uncertainty; the very thing I was trying to evade.

So, let’s think about how we separate thinking from overthinking.  

I would suggest thinking is about exploring something enough, for example I have looked at the facts of the situation, how I feel about it and explored my options.  Now, I can either take a step to deal with it or pause things until I can.  I can let things play out and tolerate uncertainty.

When I am overthinking, I am over doing it. I am going over information again and again, I am exploring all the scenarios however unlikely, I am gap-filling and making assumptions. I am trying to get ahead of things. I am not tolerating uncertainty.

However, in the moment it can be really difficult to distinguish which is which.  To understand this more we need to challenge the positive beliefs about worry. Some examples are;

·         Worry helps me problem solve.

·         It helps me prepare.

·         It shows I care.

Part of my therapy and coaching role is to challenge these beliefs and facilitate opportunities for individuals to see that they can achieve these goals without worrying.

Think about all the moments in everyday that you solve a problem or take a situation seriously without worrying; there are probably more than you think.  

When you don’t worry, is that detrimental or are you still able to achieve things?

Can you prepare for things without worrying?

Does worrying bring you the clarity and certainty you want?  Or does it make you more confused?

How would reducing your overthinking change things for you?

I guess when I provide therapy and coaching, ultimately my aim is not to tell people what is right or wrong. Instead, it is to give space and time so that individuals can see they have choices in how they respond and decide what works for them.

Maybe this week we could all look for some of these differences and begin to disentangle the thinking from the overthinking….what do you think? 😊

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