These words came out of my mouth in quick succession this morning. So, I thought this would be a good thing to blog about, because I know I’m not the only person who speaks about themselves like this.

For context, I am currently pushing my comfort zone…bigtime.

Eleven years ago, I made a lot of big life changes and moved to a new area. I expected to be here for ten years minimum and then decide the next phase. During that time, I left a job as an NHS Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and trained in Metacognitive Therapy and Coaching and started a business during lockdown that amazingly continues to build.

I have recently made some decisions about career and home, thinking about how I want the next ten years to head. This is quite a big thing as I’m not only thinking about work stuff, but where I want to live and things I want to do; what I want my life to look like.

It’s a lot.

And I’ve had more than a few moments of overwhelm, like this morning when I was struggling with technical tasks I need to do for work (ask anyone, this is NOT my strong point!), and the frustration I felt whilst trying to achieve my goal and thinking I was getting nowhere fast.

It made me think about our expectations of ourselves; the language we use; our fears of being judged. I know I have put a lot of pressure on myself in the past and worried about failing or people thinking badly of me. What I find is that unsurprisingly rather than motivating me, this is much more likely to make me less confident and then I am more likely to give up.

I have tried to challenge this over the years. I thought today about what strategies I use to counter this. I can think of lots of times when I have gone down the rabbit hole and second guessed myself. When I do use them, everything feels a bit more doable. So let me share them with you;

· Interrupt your worry and negative thinking about the situation.

· Take a break if you need to and clear your head.

· Challenge thinking errors – catastrophising, blaming yourself.

· Manage your expectations – are they realistic? Are you trying to do too much at once?

· Remember it’s a process – you don’t have to have all the answers right now.

· Be flexible in your thinking – there’s more than one way of doing things.

· Break the task down into bitesize chunks.

· Recognise what you bring to the task – what can you do, rather than what you can’t do.

· Be self-compassionate instead of self-critical - you’re doing your best with what you have.

· Re-visit your goals – what will you gain from sticking with the task?

If we can be self-aware and see how our mindset influences our approach to things, this can often help us explore creative ways to navigate through them. If we don’t spiral, we can take a breath and consider our options.

So, now I’ve had a break, I’ll get back to the task and see what happens! Have a great weekend :)

“I don’t know what to do; I’m not good at this; I don’t understand!”

What about groups?…